Domestic violence must end

Dear Editor,

If, we as residents of Orange County, were ever under the illusion that domestic violence didn’t happen here, well the last two years have proved that notion completely incorrect. Eight women in 2 years have been murdered by husbands or boyfriends. We absorb the news and are always stunned by the brutality. Why do men kill women they claim to love? The easy answer is they can but that answer is certainly not good enough. We try to answer questions like, “Why does she stay?” or “Why doesn’t she leave?” They are usually asked by tragically uninformed people or those who find it much easier to blame the victim than ask the real and appropriate questions. Women don’t leave because they can’t. Women don’t leave because it’s not safe for them to do so. Statistically, the most dangerous time for a women affected by intimate partner violence is as she planning to leave or right after she has left the relationship. This was proved tragically true in the cases of the last 3 women killed in Orange County. Griselda Espinal, Elena Heiberger and Fermina Nunez all had already ended the relationship or just made plans to end it and those men made conscious choices to exert the ultimate control by murdering these women or in Ms. Nunez’ case hiring someone to do it for him.

What continues to baffle us is why people don’t ask the most important question: Why aren\’t we holding men account- able for their actions before they kill their partners? It’s time for all of us to stop being complacent. It’s time to demand action by our police departments and our court system. Domestic violence can no longer be treated like a private, family matter. It is a crime. It must be handled like one. Police departments must respond to scenes and understand crimes have been committed, investigate and charge appropriately. Officers must understand what mandatory arrest is and what primary aggressor really means. The language in the primary aggressor law is being rewritten to say ‘predominate aggressor’ because departments were confused by the word primary, thinking it meant who hit who first rather than its true meaning of who has the history of aggression. This means investigation, this means taking the time to fill out a Domestic Incident Report correctly and completely. This means simply doing their jobs.

The court system must do a better job protecting victims. Judges and law guardians must stop punishing women for being victims of domestic violence. The court must stop accepting violations of orders of protections with no real consequences to the batterer. Our laws must be changed to reflect the seriousness of the crimes being committed against women. Until all systems are working to strengthen the safety net for survivors and their children, women will continue to be murdered in this county. This is unacceptable, this is preventable and with your help we can make a difference.

Michele McKeon
Safe Homes of Orange County